"Jillunu Oru Sodhappal"

" I too had a Love Story".... these are the first few words that strike my mind, whenever i think about my college days. Youp those days were the wonderful days of every prince and princess life. Why do 90% of love stories remain just stories rather than getting ended in marriage?? What is that stopping factor for anyone to succeed in the so called LOVE?? Well let me take my story as an example for what not to be done when in love or before love or after love. Am ANAND working in TCS. I'm a type of guy who is calm, friendly, naughty, simple, single and ready to mingle :P February 14th 2009, an unforgettable day in my life....

"Nothing is perfect and no one is perfect", that’s what is my philosophy in life. If a class contains 10 top rank holders it would obviously have another 10 last rank holders and yes I fall under the second category. It’s pretty usual that i always appear to be an outstanding student in almost all the hours. Well I guess everyone knows what outstanding means??  :P And coming back to February 14th, i still remember the dress which i wore on that particular day. My dad has a funny color taste and since I love my dad so much I wear whatever Shirt he selects for me. Ha ha ha yes it was a dark rose (sought of panjumuttaai) color when i was thrown out of class by my English sir. As usual i was standing outside the class and was sighting few of our college girls who were roaming in corridors.

 Girls love pink color. Don't they?? Anjana, my college mate of different department. Beautiful girl, wit neat hair cut, cute smile, sharp eyes and of course attractive figure. To be frank i had a crush on her from the date of seeing her. I have made million attempts for gathering her attention, but all turned down in vain. So here comes my day, i cannot believe that my crush smiled at me for the first time in the history. Ha ha Was it because of the dress color which i wore or was it because of me standing outside always? ? Oh yeah s its true, Anjana smiled at Anand.

Some instinct in my mind said that something is special about this girl and my feeling for her. The next day i was too excited about seeing her again and was searching for her in the entire college from morning 8. I know that its impossible to see her in campus by 8 cos our class starts oly by 9, but still my heartbeat was in high peak. Ha ha what's happening to me? Oh god i've never been lik this. Like a dashing beauty she came in daring black wit perfect makeover by sharp 8.45 inside our campus. Long back I Have read in an article that Girls expect boys to keep their first move in all the situations, so keeping that in mind I have decided to talk with her directly regarding my feelings for her, of course i have practiced well the dialog's too. Just three words, hi Anjana "I LOVE YOU". .  Wat you guys expect would have happened there? ?

Hmmm yes i have committed a big blunder as you all expected.. My first meeting with her was utter flop :( :( this is wat happened actually. As planned after the first two hours, i was roaming in her floor during the break time. I know that she'll come to canteen to have tea along with her gang. And yes she came too. I've enchanted all possible gods’ name in this world to get the strength and confidence to face her. With that boldness, I’ve reached near her. Standing just few centimeters away from her, i got sweated fully. Though i was damn nervous, i called her hi Anjana. Reacting to my call, she turned towards me. Oh god, oh god seeing her as close as possible for the first time, what a girl she is?? Hmmm now coming to the point, instead of telling i love you, i ended up saying, HOW ARE YOU?  Ha ha like a comedy in vadivelus movie, i said to myself. Dei Anand "un kita beginning lam nalla than irunduchu finishin than da seri illa"

The way she looked at me on asking that question just killed me. As if i asked her to run out of house and marry me, she starred at me. And the ultimate insult was, she replied WHO ARE YOU? For my HOW ARE YOU?? In my history of 21 yrs I’ve never met up a embarrassing situation like this..I was speechless and unable to react for her question. I just got stumbled for 2 min's and came back with a reply like this. Oh ya yes, you dunno me Anjana, but i know you for a long time. Just thought of having a friendly chat wit you . And nothing more. I'm anand doing my b.com final year. So how's life Anjana? Guys really have attitude right? But girls r not less too. She still kept up her rough look and yelled like this, so how do you know me long time? Do you Know my full past or what? See 'm not into these sought of talks and chats. Let this be your last attempt of talking with me. And yes Anand 'm doin gud and thanks for asking. Bye. . Wat a reply and what a slap for me. February 15th my saddest day in life :(

That's it, after that Sodhappal my chance of communicating with that lady angel became absolutely less. I had no clue of how to face her from then. (like a dialog from boss movie "sathyama avala epadi correct panradhuney enaku appo theriyala" ). Days passed by as i only had chances of sightin her from long distance. Unlikely of seeing her always behind the screen, I have firmly decided either “do or die” in this matter and started hunting for her number. "What are friends for if we cant use them"?? Yes i have literally tortured my friend surendar and my Junior murali for tracing her number. Luckily Murali 's girl friend had her number and thank god my junior gave her number at the cost of three beers. . So its my time now. . .

Initially Very basic technique of messaging gud morning, gud eve nd gud nit was followed by me. As expected after a week of waiting and repeated wish messages i got a reply finally. Excited on seeing her name in mobile and with full enthu i opened my inbox. I expected a Who's this? as reply from her but to my surprise i was totally wrong. The message was, Anand don't message and play with me. 'm not expecting any of your messages. Stop this right away. Bye. .

 Damn i'm cornered. Oh god, how did she get my number? ? What's wrong with gals? As if I was sending her some “A” jokes and rubbish contents why is she shouting at me? Am i such a cheap fellow? These questions were swirling in my mind after i got that message from her. I know that girls expect more. When their expectations does not meet, they get wex’d more. Actually Anjana would have expected atleast a sorry as reply from me. But since i was really hurted i have decided to turn her thoughts towards me this time, by simply sending a one word "K" as reply. Yes i was correct, "Girls Expect MORE" :-) in no-time after sending that "k" i got a reply from her saying, I’m sorry, i did not mean to hurt you. I don't lik these kind of messaging and that’s why i was bit harsh. Take care bye.

  I knew that it'll happen. That moment was very valuable for me. I should not miss tat chance so i just replied back stating, "its ok. Need to talk wit you tomo. See ya in college by sharp 3.45 near canteen". Bye.

As mentioned in my message she was seen in canteen by sharp 3.45 pm. This time i was much more nervous than the previous meeting as i decided to propose her face to face for sure. Acting to be cool i sat opposite to her with a big Hi and smile. Before i could start anything she smiled like a angel at me in which i was totally flattened and my words collapsed completely. I was flattered by her childish cute smile and forgot the matter which i actually wanted to speak...

My inner voice repeatedly said common Anand propose to her, don't miss this chance. Go ahead propose now, but i was not able to do that actually. Yes i have done my sodhapal this time too. Instead of telling hi Anjana i love you, i just blabbered the following dialog and ran away. This was what i spoke to her, hi Anjana, i have no wrong feeling like love or something else to you. I just wanted to be your gud friend, can we? As if she was waiting for this moment from her birth, she nodded her head immediately with a firm hand shake and we both left that place.

Gone, everything gone , my last chance of proposing her also gone. Have said to myself, “Waste da Anand nee. Cha”. For the next couple of weeks she just had a friendly smile and friendly talks with me. Though i said by words that i wished to be her friend, i was actually not able to behave like a friend with her.

My love feeling for her has never reduced or never ended and my final semester was nearing too. So i thought its better to propose her truly, rather than being her false friend. I have decided to take chance for one last time and finally typed the following message to text her. Hi Anjana, i'm sorry to tell this, i don't want to spoil the name of friendship by acting with you, I am sure that this is not friendship, I can assure you that your life with me will be fully satisfied and i just wanna tell that “I LOVE YOU” . To accept or not is your wish, but i cannot act as your friend anymore.. After pressing the send button i was so relaxed and happy that I’m true to myself atlast.

It was my last text to her, i never got a reply back and am still waiting to get a reply from her. I had a chance of meeting her in college but she never looked into my eyes thereafter and avoided me badly. Years passed by, I lost her contact after college, but definitely did not lose those sweet memories. Was i wrong? Should I not be sending that message to her??  Still confused …

 Its 2012 now and I just found her back through  facebook. Have send her friends request and waiting for her to accept. Wil she accept before this February 14? Will my sodhapal story have a happy ending? Who knows? Waiting waiting waiting waiting............................... still waiting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!